Happiness is not a destination, it is a journey to be experienced and enjoyed within us each and every day.
In the fast-paced race we called life how many people do you know who are truly content and happy? Like really, really, really happy. Happy with their life today? Happy with themselves today? Do you know anyone who is so well grounded, that they give off an aura of okayness? Most people you know are probably in the rat race of wanting more without really wondering what is it that they’re searching for. It is as if people are waiting to get something then as if a magic wand has been waved that they will all of a sudden become miraculously happy when they get whatever it is.
Some examples of what people think will make them happy… Retirement An annual 2 week holiday A new car Friday!!!! (Who would want to live not being happy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday?!) When the mortgage is paid off When they find a soul-mate When they get married Having a baby It is great to have dreams, goals and desires for the future but it’s important to understand that these things will not provide proper happiness. You may be happy in the short term when you get them but until you find inner happiness and practice self-love there will only be a surface happiness, a happiness that can come but can easily go too. You are unique, individual, you are beautiful and you are amazing, what’s not to love and to be happy about?
Happiness - what does it mean?
To find inner happiness, calm and clarity within you does not mean that you are going to be ecstatically happy 24/7, life is life after all and has a habit of throwing the unexpected our way. We will all experience ups and downs during our journey of life but it’s how we deal with them that makes the difference.
Life is 10% what is put in our path and 90% how we choose to deal with the situation. Yep you read it right, 10% life and 90% you.
This is an empowering statistic if you choose it to be. Think about it for a moment; you have the power, you have the choices, you make the decision on how to deal with what it thrown your way. For instance, someone reverses into your car in the car park, your car is a mess, you are late for work and it just wasn’t in your plan for this morning, totally inconvenient all round. You can choose to be annoyed, maybe to get angry at the other driver and then to be all ‘oh this is so typical, why does it ALWAYS happen to me, my life just sucks’, or you can chose the other option and think, ‘ok, not ideal but accidents do happen, thankfully no one is hurt, we’re all fit and healthy, it is just a car that can easily be fixed, yay to car insurance it won’t cost me a penny and yes I’m going to be a little late for work but I can make that up later'. You see??? The same situation but the choice is yours on how you deal with it.
By practicing self-love and self-care you will find your inner peace and happines. When you are experiencing contentment and inner happiness then you will be in a good space, life will always be life but it won’t bring you down and engulf you like it may currently be doing.
Imagine loving yourself on the inside and on the outside, truly appreciating you for the wonderful individual you are. Finding your true path, knowing the real you and your passion and purpose. This is the foundation you need to set to achieve being the best, the most healthiest version of you.
Whether pain is physical or emotional, the pain is a signal, a beacon, a message and is telling us something. Often the hard part for us, is listening to that sign and dealing with it. Masking physical pain with painkillers or not addressing emotional pain and hoping it will just go away isn’t addressing the source of the problem. Covering up the problem may help the pain temporarily but ultimately won’t make the pain go away permanently.
When I have a physical pain, I want to know why I’m hurting. Like when my back plays up I go to the chiropractor, I know my hips will be misaligned and an adjustment will put me back into the correct position, therefore relieving me of pain - I fix the source of the problem.
I had a sore hip on and off for several months, I gave it the chance to heal but when it didn’t I went to the physio. The tendons were damaged. I needed to rest the tendons on the hip bone but also needed to strengthen my glutes on one side and roll out my IT band (this was hideous pain itself!!!). I did the prescribed exercises set by the physio – Why?? Because I didn’t want to be in pain anymore and I want my body working correctly. After several months of consistent work, the hip is pain free and fully recovered – I addressed the source of the pain and fixed it!
Emotional pain is the same. It needs to be addressed and worked through. This can be tough, hard work and upsetting. But it is healthier to work through the pain rather than disguise it and to pretend it is not there. I speak from many years of experience. In the past if I hurt emotionally I would sweep it under the carpet and think, ‘oh well, shit happens, there are people out there much worse off than me’. This may well be true but did nothing to help me address my pain. Instead I never dealt with anything head on and, as a result, suffered from many years of depression, anxiety and self-loathing, all while wearing a smile to disguise my pain from the world. I eventually crashed and had nothing left to give. Thankfully!!! This is when I experienced my awakening and I have never looked back.
Whenever I am in emotional pain, I now understand that I need to feel it, like really, really feel it. To look it straight in the eye and to deal with it head on. It’s not easy, the good stuff usually isn’t! But it is so worthwhile.
I am kind to myself, I put a hand on my heart and reassure myself that it is ok to feel sad, angry, hurt or grief. I give myself permission to wallow in my feelings for as long as I need. I cry, breathe, feel and tune in and listen to my heart. I use various tools, maybe I will journal my feelings, meditate or go for a walk. I do whatever I need to do to address the pain and work through it.
With consistency, hard work and compassion you can work through pain. Pain is there for a reason. Discover the source, address it, be dedicated and put in the work to get through it. You will learn lessons, you will feel different emotions, you will surprise yourself. You can do it.